My last message to my lover

 Honey,

            I know it’s even harder to ignore your calls or SMSes. But I am trying hard to do it honey as you have already said the best thing I can do is ‘move on’. I was in tears whole day in bus moving away from your city that’s not coz I was moving far from you but coz of my unsuccessful mission.

             Form the very day you stopped saying ‘I love you too’ for my ‘I love you’s I noticed some changes in your behavior and I was afraid that something wrong is gonna happen. Very rare contact and meager fb replies and messages were something you started doing as a result. I tried to make you understand how much I love you every time you were on chat; but worthless. This is what made me feel to think that you are doing this coz we are far apart and yet to see each other. This was my conclusion and I decided to kick my training and see you so that you may change your mind, understand my love, have faith upon me and say I love you too one more time. But unfortunately, honey it never happened. I got “just friend” relationship tag which was never acceptable for me. How the fuck can I accept you as my just friend when I love you like hell.

            I never thought that I’d ever own that courage to be on my knees in Public to propose you with red rose in my hand. Even friend who came to fill courage in me froze seeing me doing this. I didn’t care who was there and what shit were saying coz I loved you and was saying you that I do. Though you held rose in hand you never said I love you too. I expected you to change your mind and feel that I am in deep love with you which never happened. How happy I’d have been if you held my hand and walked with me; rather you wanted a bit distance between us. I never thought that I should take permission before I kiss your hand. I’ve never imagined that I’ll never get to hug you tight and say “I love you honey”. How happy I’d have been if you said I want to spend rest of my life with you. I wanted you to be with me all your life and share every moments with me. I dreamed of my beautiful life with you: all in vain. Fuck! I just feel like to cry; just cry.
            How the fuck in this world I can believe that your ‘I love you’s’ were fake for the second time. How the fuck you made me fool to love you and accept you back trusting you. Where the fuck is your promise not to leave me alone? Its too much baby, my heart don’t have this threshold to resist it all. It just gives me pain, heartache and fucking fast beats when I think of you. Why the hell in this world I loved you never to be loved back. You said you loved me very much and wanted to marry me. Was that a lie? Now you simply clarify me saying that we are not in any relationship; we are just friend.

            Not only just friend a special friend whom you still are confused whether you love or not and you find yourself in pain if I go for another girl. Why you can’t clear yourself about our relationship though you clarify your sister that there is nothing between us. I don’t know what these kinds of relationships are termed as its killing relation for me. Damn! I love you.

            I don’t know how I’m gonna control myself; its fucking hard for me to forget you and “move on” but I have to. You are in my every conversation. My mom says stop taking about her every time, you are gone mad; But mom how can I stop talking about girl whom I love. Can you forget and stop talking about dad? Mom says don’t compare your love with my relation with dad. It’s totally incomparable and the best suggestion I can give you is to ‘move on’. You deserve much more. She said after listening my whole story and I’m gonna obey her.

Honey, you played with my heart, my feelings and my love. You say every guy says the same but again I’m saying that you will cry for betraying me. I am sorry honey we are not getting back together, never! I am leaving you forever and going far away from you. I am not replying any of your messages or receiving your calls anymore like the way you did after our first breakup. So it’s better for you not to give it a try. I am never saying you that I love you ; coz I hate you; I don’t wanna see you and I don’t wanna face you anymore. You just enjoy your life and let me enjoy mine. And I apologize for those unpermitted kisses and hugs and also for F words. I am sorry. And goodbye my sweetheart. I (don’t) love you anymore. 

Your unfortunate,

Bit more than friend and less than boyfriend.